My Day (With Apologies to Harper’s Index)
Total time spent on bed-related issues: 2 hours
Amount of these two hours that were spent on fitted sheet: 15 minutes
Amount of time doing exchange at Bed Bath & Beyond: 30 minutes
Amount of this time spent waiting for “air bed expert” to arrive: 5 minutes
Number of times Bed Bath & Beyond employee used air quotes while explaining that we were waiting for the “expert”: 2
Number of air beds I’ve gone through in six months: 3
Number of other customers returning air beds to the same store this month: 5
Amount of time spent waiting at DMV: 45 minutes
Number of times DMV employee, using highlighter, circled my forms to emphasize I had to do everything through the Web: Twice
Previous times I’d attempted to use the Web to solve the error blocking my re-registration: 2
Attempts made after visit: 3
Number of times I attempted to say my license plate number via DMV’s automated phone system: 12
(Successful resolutions via either system, phone or Web: 0)
Number of times I attempted to say my license plate number in a goofy Southern accent: 1
Average percentage of improved automated voice recognition when I used that accent: 18%
Number of Save-Mart Customer Service stations in one Save-Mart store: 2
Percentage that were non-operational due to computer problems: 100%
Number of computer systems at Blue Cross Anthem, library, Save-Mart, and lawyer’s office that were either “down” or “updating”: 4
Minutes spent receiving handwritten receipt for returns at library: 10 minutes
Callbacks I was waiting for from customer service representatives once computers “were back up”: 2
Callbacks received: 0
Awe, that’s awesome. It was like a day of statistics! I mean, maybe you should get a futon and come home to Fort Bragg where the wait @ the DMV can be as little as 5 minutes and they have CATS! Or rather, they used to.
Haha, good stuff. Any day at the DMV is one filled with magic and wonder.