the quantum-botticelli personality test arrives!

We here at the Kugelmass Episodes cannot thank you enough for your patience. As Wayne Coyne would say, the test begins…now. Everyone should design one of these things, as there is absolutely no better, more challenging exercise in becoming aware of one’s own semi-conscious rubrics.

A couple disclaimers: the following test does not have right answers. It does not have a standardized scoring system, but all answers will be scored upon request (via the comments section). The reason for this is that the questions interact with one another — your answer to Question A is only meaningful in the context of your answer to Question B. The test should be used for entertainment purposes only, unless you’d like to use it as a guide to major life decisions, in which case, that’s outstanding.

1. You are obliged to swim across a patch of icy water.
a) You ease into it
b) You dive in

2. How often are you swayed by thinking about rebellion and/or “wildness”? (Alternatively, how often do you have “crazy” experiences?)
a) Frequently
b) Infrequently

3. How often do you quote things?
a) Frequently
b) Infrequently

4. How much has your life been affected by being ill?
a) Some or a lot
b) Not much

5. How many e-mail addresses do you check at least once a week?
a) Less than three
b) Three or more

6. When talking about your hopes for the future, you are…
a) More likely to discuss abstractions (e.g. happiness, passion)
b) More likely to discuss possible accomplishments or circumstances

7. Write two paragraphs about a personal hero.
a) OK, I’m ready
b) Give me a few minutes

8. How often do you volunteer?
a) Sometimes or often
b) Rarely or never

9. How often do you talk about events that happened to you more than a decade ago?
a) Occasionally
b) Not that often

10. How many blood relatives do you visit or correspond with frequently?
a) Six or fewer
b) Seven or more

11. How personally important to you are new technologies?
a) Pretty important
b) Not that important

12. Is fashion something you enjoy?
a) Yes
b) No

13. Do you remember your dreams?
a) Occasionally
b) Rarely

14. Do you keep an accurate, detailed calendar?
a) Yes
b) No

15. Is not being superstitious important to you?
a) Yes
b) No

16. Do you follow any sports?
a) Yes
b) No

17. Which one?
a) Morning person
b) Night person

18. How often do you feel shy?
a) Sometimes or often
b) Infrequently or never

19. You’re writing a letter to a friend. The second-to-last paragraph is most likely about:
a) Events in your life
b) Something impersonal, such as a film or an event in the news

20. Which is more annoying?
a) A bad radio program
b) A traffic jam

21. What’s the most difficult part of a slow day at work?
a) Anytime during the first five hours
b) Anytime during the last three hours

22. Leaving aside the need for oxygen, how much significance do you place on the act of breathing?
a) Some or a lot
b) Not much

23. Do you drink coffee regularly?
a) Yes
b) No

24. You get a call from a friend you haven’t spoken to in a month. What’s new?
a) Quite a bit
b) Not much

25. Do you doodle?
a) Yes
b) No

26. How much of a problem, for humanity in general, is laziness?
a) A big problem
b) Not compared to (x)

27. How often, when you write something, do you use punctuation besides periods and commas? (Note: emoticons don’t count.)
a) Several times in a paragraph
b) Less than that

28. How excited (within reason) are you about the daily mail delivery?
a) Excited
b) Not so much

29. How much time are you out of the house on a day when you don’t have to work?
a) Less than four hours
b) Four hours or more

30. Have you been in charge of managing people (at work or elsewhere) in the last year?
a) Yes
b) No

31. Imagine you’re stepping into a new, unfamiliar restaurant for dinner. How crowded is it?
a) Fairly busy
b) Fairly quiet