The Quantum-Botticelli Personality Test

In honor of thisblueangel and her outstanding post on Meyer-Briggs Personality Tests, I’ve decided to write a new personality test that will deliver precise, often astonishing results. These are only the first ten questions; a complete test will be available as soon as my lab results are complete and I have received dispensation to give the lemurs as much aspirin as they need.

I have decided to call this test “The Quantum-Botticelli Personality Test” because I think that sounds very good and authoritative. All answers, which should be submitted in the comments section, will be scored and results will be delivered.

1. What part of a car is most likely to require costly repairs?

a. the transmission
b. the brakes
c. the electrical system
d. the doors (including windows)

2. Which one?

a. fairies
b. vampires
c. unicorns
d. werewolves
e. sirens

3. What comes up most frequently in television advertisements?

a. Huge close-ups of food
b. Sudden, dramatic changes in the environment (B&W to color, etc)
c. An expert making definitive claims
d. Absurd humor
e. Douchebags and/or idiots

4. Which is the greatest city?

a. Berlin
b. Istanbul
c. Lagos
d. Tokyo
e. Paris

5. What kind of street names are most common in small towns?

a. Ordinary person names
b. Plant names
c. Names of famous people
d. Numbers

6. Do you prefer:

a. Pie
b. Ice cream
c. Poached fruit
d. Milkshakes
e. Cookies (crispy)
f. Cookies (soft)

7. Which kind of moral quality is most important?

a. Grit
b. Vision
c. Patience
d. Intelligence
e. Love

8. A person starts to sneeze uncontrollably. Are they:

a. Sick
b. Having allergies
c. Neurotic
d. A victim of circumstance

9. In a previous life, were you

a. A pamphleteer
b. An assassin
c. A barbaric warlord
d. An embezzler
e. A thief

10. Which magazine will still be around in ten years?

a. Readers’ Digest
b. Car and Truck
c. Ladies Home Journal
d. Good Housekeeping
e. Outdoor Living

More soon!

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